SSPX – turning ordinary Masses into funerals (how to)

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This would be hilarious if it wasn’t sad. Maybe it’s hilarious anyway.

SSPX chapel quarantine notice, 25 March 2020
SSPX chapel quarantine notice, 25 March 2020

Now that COVID lockdown is stricter again, the local SSPX are once again doing their best to continue group activities, singing (hated by the devil), and avoiding the police. (Note to the SSPX: singing is dangerous, and the devil loves yours because it’s potentially lethal.)

Level 3 for South Africa: no public/private gatherings, although funerals are allowed with a maximum number of people set at 50. To this, we can apply this logic:

  1. Mass is a commemoration of Jesus’ death and resurrection.
  2. Commemorating Jesus’ death means Mass can be considered a funeral.
  3. Therefore the SSPX can call their Masses funerals and they’ll be allowed under the 50-person funeral rule.

Note: the above reasoning can be used by any Christian denomination, and, if you commemorate the death of a loved one who died years ago, any non-Christian religion could use the same argument.

So they tried that one on. Apparently nobody important has fallen for it, and instead there will be house Masses and very surreptitious chapel Masses, with the usual “park a distance away, creep in slowly one at a time, leave in the same cautious way” warning.

Sounds like a spy novel, and no doubt that’s part of the excitement for them. They get to live out their persecution complex, express their bizarre ideas about COVID, sing (very important to them), they feel like martyrs, and this gives them their adrenaline rush.

Let’s pray that they don’t end up taking the broader community with them into the afterlife. Let’s pray that their megalomania is contained, at least somewhat.

Come on, SSPX. Pull the other one – it’s got bells on. Do your research. This isn’t religious persecution. This is a dangerous virus, and you’re doing your utmost to spread it. Your funeral joke might just end up with real funerals as a result.

In the words of Rowan Atkinson, “I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog. … I wouldn’t trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

SSPX Pinelands Cape Town 36 Central Avenue

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